Okay so I wrote a song this summer and since songs are technically poems I'm pretty sure I can post this on here . . . plus I want to know if the lyrics are good enough to record so leave your comments or vote on the pole to the side and tell me what you think! Thanks!
Moonlight Dance
You’ve got my heart in headlock,
My head in a daze.
I’m dead when you’re not here.
I can’t feel.
I can’t breath.
In the dark of the night
It all comes crashing down.
When I don’t have to pretend
I’m not happy without you
Chorus:
See the silver lined cloud,
Feel the magic in your heart,
Hear the music in the air,
So shhh! don’t ruin the moment.
My heart aches for you,
Your fiery touch,
Your kiss of comfort,
Your arms wrapped around me,
Your hands to dry my tears.
You have my heart locked
Inside your secret box,
And the key: Under your captivity
Chorus
Bridge:
As my pulse beats faster
To match the tempo of the music
I can't help but think of you.
What would I do without you?
How could I live without you?
And whenever it rains I think of you,
Wondering if you’re thinking of me too.
Remembering how you promised me
That kiss in the rain.
Chorus
Personal Essay
16 years ago
12 comments:
Personally, I think it is very good. I especially like the line at the end of the first stanza in the chorus.
Very nice. I can definatley see you writing this. Is it like a Tear Drops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift, or is it more of a Damaged by Danity Kane?
Thanks for the comment on my page. I wrote that last year so...yeah. I beat you to it.
You're welcome.
And don't feel bad that you can't talk poem...at least you can write one.
well it isn't exactly a poem but whatev. it's cool :)
Very nice job on the poem/song (by the way (random moment) did you know that you spelled "healthy" wrong on your profile?).
guess what dylan! I DON'T CARE! as always . . . giggle jk thank you . . . and don't laugh at the comment i made to alex- just because . . . never mind. . .
Well, I leave you to be right on this one. I know how it is with her, and it's hard. I was barely able to let go myself.
By the way, I'm still voting for Marb, If you catch my drift.
By the way, do you remember what I talked about at the end of my last comment?
Yeah i know michael. check your blog i commented again. you stay up late! And NO MARB! It sounds like an old lady! And Michael, you know why i can't let go cuz you've been in the exact sitcutation and i've told you exactly why!!!!!!!!!!!!! My heart is about to explooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooode!
Goodnight! Bring on the pain and talking in my sleep and night mares! yeah!
It's ok. It's a very inticate life I'm living so I don't expect everyone to understand.
You wouldn't know her. She's in my ward so...ya.
It's good that you don't know what Michael's talking about. Trust me.
And Michael, again, be careful. Oh, and MARBLE was only temporary. I'm still thinking.
Well there is people out there who have been in the exact situation as you- I would know- they've all come running to me and asked me for help (for some strange reason I attract people who need help and they spill their life story to me without me even trying)
Well I guess I have an idea about what Michael's talking about but I'm not sure it's right so I'm not even going to try. Plus I don't even really care.
I think you should really get a tune! and make it a song! i luv the lyrics! YOU ARE A GENIOUS! or however you spell that :D
giggle thanks alot audra. I have a tune for the chorus and an idea of what the verses and bridge are going to sound like but i still have to put it down on paper but i'm so freakishly distracted all the time because if i don't keep myself distracted then i go all wierd but i guess that could count as a distraction . . . idk. . . i'll figure it out eventually . . .
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